Kia ora lovely humans!
Things have been a hot mess lately. We’ve been navigating some super tricky parenting stuff and my husband has been travelling a little more regularly than usual for work. We’ve noticed we’ve all been a bit more sensitive, reactive and impatient with each other. And then last week, me and the kids got bronchitis. Thanks universe for the message - we got it! SLOW down. Take it right back to the basics. Rest. Get your hands in the earth. Simplify everything. Cancel everything. Stay the f**k at home.
This of course came with an even bigger wave of feelings as it meant cancelling a trip to Nelson for me to the Homebirth Hui (an annual event that I was so looking forward to), missing a big community event locally and rearranging a date night that we had planned to connect with each other. Cue self pity and moping. And then there are the kids and their big feelings about being sick and missing out too. It’s been a real trip.
I was so tired and emotionally spent, I forgot what makes me feel good. Have you got an oxytocin plan? I talk about this in my Nurtured Postpartum workshop a lot - writing down a list of things that make you feel good. Sometimes we need that list - when we’re lost in the day to day challenges. What makes me feel good? That’s right! Singing. Dancing. Creating.
And so last night, after the kids were in bed, I put on my headphones, started my favourite playlist and created our new house number while singing. And it was a moment, to myself, in the dark of the evening, to just be, sing, create and feel good again. And it didn’t even make me cough! Win!
So write an oxytocin list - write down the top 10 things that make you feel good. It can be anything, from a hot cup of tea, walking outside barefoot, a warm bath with candles, foot / head massage, playing with a pet, snuggling up in your favourite blanket on the couch, watching something funny, eating your favourite food, going outside and feeling the sun on your face, meditation, yoga or light stretching, singing or dancing. Anything.
And next time things feel like a hot mess in your home - reach for your list.
Online Workshops:
Nurtured Postpartum - Online Postpartum Preparation Workshop
- Bite sized workshops that help you plan for postpartum while you're still pregnant.
This workshop describes ways to meet the 4 essential requirements of a nurtured postpartum. Nailing these elements has a significant impact on the next 40 years of your wellbeing and even impacts how you transition through menopause. With practical tips, tools on how to plan, activities, rituals and meditations, you, your partner, support person and whānau will be equipped with all you need to plan for your holistic recovery, maximise bonding with your baby and decrease your risk of postnatal mood disorders.
Empowered Parenthood - Online Workshop to prepare your older children for the arrival of their sibling
This workshop is designed to be an add on to the “Nurtured Postpartum” workshop for those parents who already have older children and are currently pregnant with another baby.
This workshop navigates the parenting challenges you might face in adding another baby to your family dynamic. It is about easing the transition for your other children so that you have the best opportunity to bond with your new baby and maintain a deep connection with your older children as you settle into this new role of parents of multiples!
Send me your questions:
Send me an email reply if you’d like me to answer a specific question next month.
Māmā melody for the month:
I don’t know what it is about this song, but it feels ridiculously empowering to me when you need to dance it out and shake it off: Solo Dance, Martin Jensen
If you’re in a hot mess too - I’m there with ya sister!
Sending you so much love and compassion,
Aroha nui Māmā,
Kirsty
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