Māmā melodies: What happens in your mind when someone is talking to you?

Are you really listening?

Over the last month, I attended two full-day workshops on Non-Violent Communication (NVC), a communication style founded by Marshall Rosenberg. I had read the book many years ago, so the concept wasn’t new to me, but I can’t say it’s a practice I’ve fully embodied either as I had found it clunky and hard to practically implement without sounding scripted. 

However, what struck me the most during this workshop was observing how much as humans, we struggle to actually listen to one another. To really hear each other - with curiosity and the intent to understand, rather than to respond. So often we want to insert our story into others’, to compare, compete or get our own point across, “fix” what’s going on, or offer advice or suggestions. There is good intent in this of course - we mean well, but we often miss the mark. What people most often want - what we most often want - is a witness. Someone to really hear us in our joy, excitement, passion, anger, sadness, confusion, overwhelm… we want so much to be seen, just as we are. 

This is so true for our kiddos as well, and gosh, the usual way we are conditioned to ‘listen’ is a hard habit to break isn’t it? This is what Aware Parenting enables us to do - there’s often nothing to actually ‘fix’ with our kiddos - they just want to be seen and heard, and sometimes, when we’re able to fully realise and embody that, and dedicate ourselves solely to listening, the shift happens naturally for them. They offload their emotions and they figure out what to do next all by themselves. Just like we do with an effective listening partnership. 

And here’s your Māmā Melody!

This month it’s a bit of a throwback. I’ve noticed my music tastes regress when I feel overwhelmed or am doing a lot of emotional processing - I love this as a tool to integrate and process. Be the One - Dua Lipa. 

Thank you so much for being part of this community. I appreciate you!

Sending you so much love and compassion and honouring all that you’re doing,

Arohanui,

Kirsty