Kia ora lovely humans!
I know. It’s December, the time of the year when (if it wasn’t enough to manage already), things tend to really step it up a notch. More events, more outings, more things to prepare, more things to buy, more things to do, more more more more more. Do you know what it really tends to be? More that we ask of Mums. More. More. More. On top of what is already, for most of us, too much.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. In a world where we might feel like most of the mental load falls on us, where we might feel overwhelmed or totally underwhelmed by the silly season, where we might feel like we’re dropping balls all over the place, we can say something very simple and very powerful. NO. Yep, that’s a complete sentence. No need to justify it. No need to rationalise it. No need to seek approval. Just. NO.
No to getting presents for all of your kids' teachers. No to making your kids classmates a homemade gift. No to that event that’s past your kid’s bedtime. No to bringing a plate. No to that family brunch that always ends in a fight. No to whatever! Whatever brings you stress and does not bring you joy. No.
I know, it might feel impossible sometimes to fathom saying it out loud, but if your internal “capacity-meter” is saying, “omg please, not another thing,” then don’t give it another thing. It’s radical. It’s radical in a world that continues to ask more of and place more expectations on women, without the support systems we had before. But it’s about your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. You matter. If we give all of ourselves away, we will simply have nothing left. We are not an infinite resource.
If you need a pep talk to find your no - take a little wisdom from the Barbie movie (never thought that would be a sentence) and Gloria (America Ferrera’s) speech on it - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la_-SbwAwlE
And if poetic encouragement is what you needed, take yourself over here to hear a poem by Becky Hemsley - Breathe - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pNOWwVffdk
Free gifts for Christmas:
My Birth Affirmations are currently FREE to digitally download. A great, thoughtful, EASY Christmas gift to a Mama that you know, or for yourself! Or hey, you might find some inspiration in there to find your No’s!
Check them out here: https://www.honouringmama.com/birth-affirmation-cards
Send me your questions:
Send me an email reply if you’d like me to answer a specific question next month.
Māmā melody for the month:
A Māmā melody for this month is a Woman is a word by Empress of - She said, “This song means so much to me. I wrote it as a reaction to feeling like the word "woman" put me in a box of things I was capable to do.”
Sending you so much love and compassion for a festive season full of ease, simplicity, doing less and resting more,
Aroha nui Māmā,
Kirsty
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