Kia ora lovely humans!
This past week has been a biggie for me personally, and it has felt overwhelming to try and navigate it alone. And here’s the thing… we are not supposed to. And I didn’t. I’ve been lucky enough to have the support of many this week and because of that, my mental health is still in tact despite what I’ve been navigating.
Self-care is this concept that’s thrown around like it’s another thing to add to our already overwhelmingly large to-do list, but what I’ve realised is that I need to automate mine (I’m talking recurring appointments set up well in advance) to make it happen for myself. And this, along with calling on multiple modes of support for myself when I need a little extra care, is what gets me through.
The world we’re navigating isn't always the most parent-friendly place, is it? We have been conditioned to think that we’re meant to have everything totally worked out, juggle all the things and be happy about it. But here's the thing - parenting is ALL the things - amazing, beautiful, challenging, overwhelming, overstimulating and hard!
And sometimes what we end up navigating as parents comes completely out of left field - like a birth that didn’t go to plan, or something that shows up for our children that touches on a tender part from our past, or things totally unrelated to parenting that consume us and impact how we can be with our kids.
We are always doing the best that we can with the resources we have - and so, when we start seeing that things are too much, or we start parenting in ways we don’t enjoy, we can, and deserve to, increase our resources. (or even better if we can use support as an ongoing essential, rather than an “in case of emergency” kinda thing, because it is just that - essential). It doesn’t matter if you’re a first-time parent or you've got a whole rugby team of kids. It doesn't matter if you're struggling or if things seem mostly fine. You are worthy of support, full stop.
Before families were nuclear and isolated, parents had collective support from their village to raise their children. For most of us now, we have to actively go out and seek that village and that support. And sometimes, we have to pay for it to get it. The need is the same though. This support always has been, always will be needed.
Getting tailored support on your parenting journey reminds you that you’re not alone and that if we’re going through it, others have too. It gives us new tools and ways of thinking about things to navigate the tricky bits. And it’s the kind of support we need to take a breather, vent, express ourselves authentically, be held and heard and tend to our inner needs. It’s a way to return to ourselves.
For me, most of my journey has been about reparenting myself, so that I can make conscious decisions about how I show up for my kids. It’s tough and it’s needed to parent differently. And it’s ongoing. (Like seriously, can I just be healed already?!)
I want to take a moment to acknowledge just how blimmin amazing you are. Parenting is big, and yet here you are, showing up every day, doing your best, and loving your little ones fiercely. You're navigating all the things, often while juggling work and life's other demands. It's not easy, but you're doing it, and that's worth a shout out! I see you! You’re awesome!
If you're feeling like you could use some extra support, remember that I'm here. Whether it's birth debriefing, postpartum support, or just a listening ear, don't hesitate to reach out. You are worthy of all the support in the world. Raising the next generation is the most important thing we will ever do. And we can’t do it alone.
Feel free to book in a free, no obligation 15 minute chat to explore this further:
Or you can book a session straight away, with discounts for booking a series of sessions of ongoing support.
As always, I like to leave you with a tune that captures the spirit of what we've talked about. This month, I've been vibing to Holding Hands with You by Bojet coz sometimes that’s what we need to do - have someone hold our hands through it. Give it a listen when you need a reminder that you're not alone on this wild parenting journey.
Thank you for being part of this community. I appreciate you!
Aroha nui,
Kirsty
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